The world a nightmare, and me being my own worst enemy.
Fear consuming every second of my life.
Thats where I lived.
Please note that I am not a professional, I am no doctor or expert on anxiety.
I am JUST someone who is diagnosed with severe anxiety and
have personally suffered through it for years.
This is my past and present story.
Its not always rainbows and butterflies but it is a beautiful mess.
Its negativity that I will turn into a positive masterpiece.
I am here to expose my personal life in hopes that someone who is suffering also
will know they arent alone, there is hope, there is freedom, and there are people who can help.
Life was meant to be LIVED not dreaded.
You have control of your life noone and nothing can take that away.
IF YOU ARE IN THE MIDST OF A PANIC ATTACK OR HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS CONTACT
AN ADULT, A PROFESSIONAL, CALL A 24 HOUR HOTLINE OR CALL 911! THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF NO MATTER
WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU AND THERE IS HELP SO DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO IT ALONE!
I grew up as a child living in constant fear.
You could ask any member of my family; I was a very very quiet, timid, scared, and shy child.
I was uncomfortable in any situation that was not at my home with my parents or siblings.
This, I believe, is where my anxiety begins.
Anxiety is a diseased tree growing on a root of fears.
Fears, small or large, trigger your mind to focus on
something to where it seems much larger than its true spectrum.
Thus you become anxious from focusing so deeply on this fear,
with the anxiety comes panic attacks
and unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing wth panic attacks.
Panic attacks come in all different ways: EX
-struggling to breathe
- nauseas/puking
-pulsing in your hands
-heart beats fast
- more severe cases some people pass out
-etc.
Coping Mechanisms: EX
-OCD routines and patterns.
-biting nails
-harming yourself (cutting/biting/piercing yourself)
-drugs and alcohol
-etc.
I knew I was different (what a cliche thing to say)
I would focus on things when I was in elementary school that triggered me
My panic attacks came in struggling to breathe and throat closing up.
I remember when I was in 3rd grade one of my teachers was talking about another student
she said " ______ is really sick its more than a cold." and I remember telling her
"I have that" I knew I had anxiety even at that age!
If any of this sounds like something you are going through then you might have anxiety
Dont be afraid of it or deny it
My advice from this post is to study yourself.
You need to pinpoint a few things
1- Do I have panic attacks often about simple things or do I only have panic attacks when I'm in an actual stressful situation?
2- What form do my panic attacks take? (hard of breathing, pulsing in hands)
3- When Im in panic what do I do to calm myself? (music, meds, alcohol)
4- What is my trigger? (person, place, memory, word)
Note these, journal these. Know yourself and know your anxiety.
The more you know the more you can resolve and form solutions for!
Write it down if you need to even! You can use 1-4 above^ to help you journal it!
This is the big step to solving this and getting better!
XOXO,
not so stranger, kenzie<3
